I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
