Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
