After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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