he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...