New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.