Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me http://tfl.nu/jebo
  Replies (11) Good night (673) Bad night (2175)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (848): a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving http://tfl.nu/nqcq
  Replies (25) Good night (6972) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life. http://tfl.nu/k782
  Replies (34) Good night (5608) Bad night (828)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance?? http://tfl.nu/47ts
  Replies (75) Good night (2788) Bad night (3984)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist. http://tfl.nu/jqdb
  Replies (18) Good night (5375) Bad night (1002)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (216): We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber http://tfl.nu/uas6
  Replies (16) Good night (4003) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night. http://tfl.nu/9abu
  Replies (27) Good night (5263) Bad night (1346)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Those memories are both hazy and awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom? (401): Those memories are both hazy and awesome. http://tfl.nu/ars0
  Replies (6) Good night (1997) Bad night (667)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone http://tfl.nu/9ph0
  Replies (11) Good night (2999) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (1181) Bad night (560)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull. http://tfl.nu/b17w
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead http://tfl.nu/d4qx
  Replies (3) Good night (1011) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did you want to do any of that?

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away. (1-814): Why did you want to do any of that? (814): If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them. http://tfl.nu/bo9q
  Replies (4) Good night (1264) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (479): Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends? http://tfl.nu/q9dz
  Replies (2) Good night (481) Bad night (671)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow http://tfl.nu/n1c6
  Replies (2) Good night (322) Bad night (1166)

Randomize