So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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