Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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