We're facebook friends in real life
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
MIDGETS
????
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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