Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize