Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What a dumb baby whore.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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