oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS