yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.