omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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