Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
