she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
