wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
