i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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