i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
