two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
