Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
