I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
