friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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