I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I think I sprained my soul last night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
