she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You took a bar mat shot.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
