i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
