Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
