What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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