If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
