you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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