I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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