2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
