oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
