if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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