I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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