beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
