Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
