I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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