I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
