Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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