ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
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