I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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