Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize