We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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