And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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