My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize