I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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