You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
