It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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