planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize