and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
