I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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