Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I deserve this hangover.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
