Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
