Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
