My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
