it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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