...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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