besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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