I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
