For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I think your dad took our porno
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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