So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
