$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize