I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I need to wash the frat house off of me
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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