1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
